Why do we do the work we do?

We Strongly believe that nobody should have to experience domestic violence alone. We are here to provide advocacy services, resources, and support for anyone experiencing domestic violence in the community regardless of race, gender identity, socioeconomic status, ability, sexual orientation, and religion.

What is Domestic Violence?

 

Domestic Violence is a pattern of behaviors used to establish and maintain control over a family member, household member, or intimate partner. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), “domestic violence is an epidemic affecting individuals in every community, regardless of age, economic status, sexual orientation, gender, race, religion, or nationality.

There are different forms of domestic violence, including:

  • Emotional abuse

    • Telling the victim that they can never do anything right

    • Making false accusations against the victim

    • Discouraging the victim from seeing friends/family

    • Embarrassing or shaming the victim

    • Controlling what the victim wears, eats, where they go, etc.

    • Using children as a threat

  • Psychological abuse

    • Intentionally scaring the person they are abusing

    • Controlling who the victim sees, where they go, or what they do

    • Stalking the victim either in person or through technology

    • Preventing the victim from making their own decisions

    • Pressuring the victim to use drugs or alcohol

    • Preventing the victim from working or attending school

  • Financial abuse

    • Controlling all the money spent in the household

    • Not allowing the victim to make money

    • Taking the victim’s money or refusing to give them money for expenses

  • Sexual abuse

    • Pressuring the victim to have sex when they don’t want to or to do things sexually that they are not comfortable with

    • Refusing to use protection when having sex or sabotaging birth control

    • Forcing the victim to have sex with others

  • Physical abuse

    • Slapping, punching, shoving, or any form of physical violence used by the abuser to scare or control the victim

    • Threatening to hurt or kill the victim’s friends, loved ones, or pets

    • Threatening the victim with guns, knives, or other weapons

    • Threatening to kill the victim and/or themselves

If you are experiencing any form of abuse, you don’t have to go through it alone. We are here to support you and connect you with the resources you need to find safety.

To learn more about crime victim rights in Minnesota go here.

Source: Quick Guide: What Is Domestic Violence? (ncadv.org)

 
 
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 Warning Signs of Domestic Violence

If you are unsure if you are experiencing domestic violence there are some signs and characteristics that you can look for. Everybody’s experience with domestic violence is different, so this is by no means a comprehensive list. If you are unsure, reach out to Rivers of Hope to connect with an advocate.

Warning signs of domestic violence include, but are not limited to:

  • Extreme jealousy and possessiveness

  • Unpredictability

  • A bad temper

  • Verbal abuse

  • Extremely controlling behavior

  • Beliefs about maintaining “traditional” male and female gender roles

  • Forcing partner to have sex

  • Sabotaging birth control methods

  • Blaming the victim for anything bad that happens

  • Sabotaging the victim’s ability to work or attend school

  • Controlling all the finances

  • Abusing other family members, children, and pets

  • Accusing their victim of flirting with others or with having an affair

  • Controlling what the victim wears and how they act

  • Demeaning the victim

  • Embarrassing the victim in front of others

  • Harassing the victim at work

Possible traits of an abuser

There is never an excuse for abuse, but there are some traits that abusers may use to justify how they treat their victims.

  • Denying or minimizing the violence and the effect it has on the victim and family

  • Objectivying the victim and viewing them as property

  • Low self-esteem, feelings of inadequacy

  • Externalizing the causes of their behavior by blaming the violence on circumstances such as stress, substance use, their partner, etc.

If you are unsure if you are being abused, we are available to talk 24/7 and can connect you with the options and resources available to you. You deserve to be safe and don’t need to go through this alone.

Source: Signs of Abuse (ncadv.org)